Saturday 9th April

Arrive at club to find all the fast boats on the water and leaving. Peter's group, as large as ever, occupies the club room. Something looks odd. Then I realise - no windows. I sit in the corner and ponder. Either brickworm has started to attack the fabric of the building, in which case we're all in trouble, or the dreaded window tax, repealed in 1851 is to form part of one of the election manifestos promised next week.

There's some astute politicos on our Committee, so I briefly consider rushing home and removing the windows in my flat - then I decide that would be a stupid idea. So instead I go canoeing in those high kneeling tippy things.

Marcus informs me that he won't be coaching from his high kneeler on the basis that I'll be going so slowly that he'll fall in waiting for me. Surprise him by going much faster than either he or I expected. Still not fast enough however to keep up with last week's novices in their double discovery.

See some TYM canoeists in plastic tubs, and give them a passing sneer as I overtake. If they're slower than me they must have deserved it.

Sunday 10th April

Graham announces that he's going to do the DW in a high kneeleing C1 next year. Now he gave me a lot of grief about disclosing that he uses Timotei shampoo, so he asked me not to embarrass him about his high kneeling canoeing. So I won't.

We practice paddling the pontoon up and down the river, but as it remains stubbornly attached to the bank, that soon gets boring, so we move on to a low kneeling C2.

Paddle to Glovers, where Graham gets out to restore circulation to his legs. I demonstrate the basics of high kneeling. Graham tries it - astonishingly he doesn't fall in. I pretend I'm not impressed and paddle back to the raft with him. We only stop twice to rest his weary limbs.

Actually it was very good for a first outing, but Graham, who is one of those tough silent types, doesn't like praise, so I don't give him any.

Friday 15th April

"June is bursting out all over....." is I think how the song goes. Well it isn't June yet, but the wretched boiler in the new ladies changing room clearly hasn't realised that. The notable team of Pearce and Joiner have been hard at work replacing sections of the plastic water pipe that feeds the ladies shower. The problem is that every time they replace one bit, the next goes. Apparently the water's too hot, or the pipe's too old or some such feeble excuse. They produce short lengths of plastic pipe with holes in it as proof. I think we've got a bad attack of plastic worm, and almost said so, but Mark was holding this big spanner and....

Rumour has it that we've got another of those super quiz nights coming up. I've got a plan for this. Tim is clearly too busy to write all the questions, so if I volunteer to set a few, I could sell the results to the highest bidder. Sarah J managed to get herself a Rolls Royce by manipulating the rack spaces, and I hear she's about to buy a house from the proceeds as well.

The other really good rumour is the one about Tim and Marcus entering the May sprint regatta at Nottingham in a C2. 500 metres I hear - long way when you can't stay in the boat - although Marcus has previous for leaving his partner at the start of those races. I gather their first outing is planned for early next week, so the Blogg will be there to report each hilarious moment for you. I love this job.

Monday 18th May

Well as promised, your eagle eyed spy took to the water disguised as a large log to report progress on the new pairing of Marcus and Tim in a high kneeling C2, accompanied this evening by three high kneeling juniors in C1s.

Suitably wobbly off the pontoon, they sadly seemed to recover well, and made it to 'the runway' before stopping for a rest. Tim was anxious to move on, but Marcus clearly needed a short rest to recover his nerves.

They then moved on to the bottom of Eel Pie, survived the wash of a couple of passing 'biggies', and turned for home. Ed demonstrated his new high brace draw technique for turning the boat. I can't do this in my K1 without falling in, amazing to see in a C1.

Now I'd prepared the next bit in advance, how they wobbled, tipped, dived, spluttered, swam and then argued on the bank....., but sad to relate, the entire party made it back to the pontoon unscathed. Gits - they really know how to spoil a good Blogg.

On Friday there's a quiz night. I'm told that some of the questions will be on the content of the Blogg. I'll soon know which of you lot have been reading myexcellent prose and which have merely been looking at the pictures.