Saturday 3rd - Regatta Nottingham
6.00 am Sue and I head up North for the Regatta with boats on top of Sue's Fiesta. Sue claims it doesn't do more than 60 with boats on top but the speedo goes up to 140 mph which is a tad ambitious but I give it a go.
Arrive to find the place quite lively with everyone preparing for the racing. Trev comes back from the Team Leaders meeting with tales of the entire Irish team scratching from the 10,000M and late entering the 1000M...bit of a problem with the metric stuff then?
Sue shoots off for her first race while I carbo-load with Kit Kats. I notice the wind is getting a bit frisky but suddenly realise I'm supposed to be on the water with Tim whose my K2 partner in the 1000M. We haven't raced for a bit (2 months) but we settle into it quickly and motor up to the start. The wind is really blowing by the time we get called onto the start and when the beep goes we're at right angles to our (preferred) direction. Much shouting and swearing later we cross the line in fourth....that'll do for starters.
Next one up is the K1 1000M and the wind is gale force. Tim's in my race as well and the starter's not bothering about etiquette and the beep goes in short order. The waves are huge and I'm drenched by the time we get to 500M. We're catching the race ahead and the race behind is catching us which causes a create deal of confusion at the finish. "So, Worcester finish first...er no that'll be last...well technically first but last as well...sort of".
Sam loves the conditions so much he finishes his 1000M fully 500M ahead of his nearest rival. He later misses his final but spots another race with a spare lane which he uses to good advantage....albeit with the wrong lane number. He wins this race in a time so fast he duly gets promoted to Boys A. Well done Sam!
Ollie & Sam not so fortunate in their K2 1000M as the weather conditions force a postponement followed by alot of (understandable) chaos at the restart. The Race is rescheduled for 200M then back to 1000M but when they arrive at the 1000M line they're told to paddle down to 200M where they are told to paddle back to 1000M.......Think Lizzie won one as did Kim?
Later confusion also causes the vets final to be "lost" (much to my relief) and Tim, Craig and myself finally call it a day and head back to London leaving the hard core to battle it out against the weather on Sunday.
DW Weekend
Graham & Nevil in there Wisdom decide that Phil, Sue and myself make the ideal support crew. But then "wisdom" is in the eye of the beholder.....
10.15 Richmond
We gather at club for Tea and faffing. Phil is chief faffer but in the excitement forgets his role and we're embarked and on the road like the slickly oiled machine we really are. Sue puts on some tunes and we sing along to "Your dirty and Gorgeous" to the scissor Sisters and Phil practices support crew feeding methods by forcing banana up Sue's nose as she drives. We avoid death. Narrowly.
13:00 Devizes
Arrive Devizes and I take picture of Nevil's shoes. We meet the other support crews Simon and Patrick) and we divi up the Melon, Rice pudding, Foie Gras, Mince pies and jellied eels amongst the two cars. Everyone looks tense but relaxed and we're all looking forward to 24 hours of arduous effort and discomfort. I nibble a kit kat nervously.
14:30 Nev & Graham start and we disappear towards the first portage. We study the "menu" and instructions that the Crew have given us and Phil begins to construct the "Banana Split" concoction as per instructions.
Some time later.....The crew shoot thru the 1st portage and we shove gloop covered banana and bits of mars bar ino their faces and cheer them on, they're looking fantastic.
16:30'ish The pound is over and we've managed to find them each time as per instructions and we're looking like professional's communicating the boy's needs between the two cars:
"Yeah, Nev ate all the potted shrimp but felt the beef had too much horseradish on it..."
"Graham thinks the eggs should be tad runnier in the omelette.."
"Too much mint in the Pimms.."
20:00 The portages are beginning to blur and the temperature is beginning to drop as we hit the car park at Newbury to meet the third Car: Bruce and Kim. We hand over half the stores and natter about the race. The boyz are 15 or so minutes behind the 20 hour schedule but they're looking fine. Hardly seen anyone else in the race (crew tells us they haven't seen anyone "Is there really a race on?")
22:00 Dreadnought reach - reading
Phil & I eat the last two bacon rolls, tell Phil not to say anything to Sue. Phil hand Sue her tea and burps loudly. "Bacon butty was nice", well done Phil. Sue sulks for rest of evening.
Crew arrives and we wrestle with spraydecks and hat while they stretch their legs. Graham asks for "Green Pullover - The cashmere one", we look blank but agree to get it to next portage should we find it
22:30 Green Pullover portage.
We find it and make like the RAC rally and push the car to its limits (about 40mph) to the portage being handled by Simon, he looks a bit baffled when we hand over the M+S sweater but we're professionals and he asks no questions.....
Early Morning
we're beginning to struggle and its hard staying awake, everything take 3 times longer to do and we're covered in gloop, squash and mud. However the crew are going well and we're starting to catch the main body of the race so we get to chat to other knackered people covered in banana.
Dawn
Chertsy - Meet Trev and crew supporting Guin & Louise, they look shattered but Trev is alert enough to relieve us of Rich Tea biscuits. Sport Rolly whose staring blankly into the distance, have long conversation about food which he later can't remember. We may not have had the conversation.
Crew staggers through the portage and we stagger alongside, this is starting to get hard!! We've changed the menu to rice pudding and melon and they wolf it down. They paddle off...we brew some coffee
Richmond
There's a few club members down and we cheer all the crews as they pass. We hear the Hendrons are chasing down the leaders and its all getting very exciting. Our crew are looking tired and Nevil's sight is going but we feed them one last time as they head down the tideway.
Westminster
Er....well I was actually asleep at the finish but managed to rouse myself to congratulate Nevil and Graham on their triumph. A fantastic 5th place, winning the Vets, contributing to the Team win and a personal best to boot! We were completely shattered too (despite the 20 minute sleep) but very proud to have been part of the Richmond "clean Sweep".
The drama at the end was splendid with Henry & Richard providing the closest finish ever and Louise and Guin doing a capsize special at the end....Next year anyone?????
After a brief respite, and twisted ankle, the Balcony is back...ready to go...refreshed....
Saturday 24
9.30am Arrive at club to find 50 people milling around in the sunshine with Peter in charge. I chat to Paul and help Peter H. fix his rudder then watch, with some amazement, as Peter organises the masses onto the water.
10:00 Marcus arrives to order my mass onto the river along with Erol, Lizzie, Craig, Paul, Karl, Chamrie and Andy. Alex seems to have gathered half of London in his group so the river is populated, almost entirely, by the clubs canoeists. Well, its sunny isn't it?
10:15 Short faff followed by the normal competitive warm-up to the bottom of eel pie then Marcus gives us the intervals we're going to do plus a diatribe on endurance training, his opinion on Middle East diplomacy, the Iraq war and the state of the housing market in Kew. Finally we're off and the order of play is 1min on, 1min off times 5 times three. "NOT 100 per cent but nearly" shouts Marcus. I give it 98.13 per cent and survive the first set without undue discomfort. I battle the next set out with Craig and Andy but the clear winner is Lizzie by about 3 boat lengths.
10:50 One more set and we're done with the short stuff and Marcus turns us back up river for wash hanging practice. We go head to head with the leading phalanx of Alex's group but our steering must be getting better as we don't hit anyone. Spot Phil doing Hi-Seat shenanigans and call to him suggesting he might like to join us. He didn't reply, looked a bit tense tho'....very tense.
11:15 It's all over and we cruise back to the raft for a quick melee with the second tranche of Peter's group before "Tea and Soreen" from the Galley. Sue persuades me out for another session but I dawdle on the balcony to watch the C8 "War Canoe" out on it's inaugural summer outing crewed by assorted juniors with Marcus (in C1) and Tim nominally in charge.
12:15 War canoe returns with alot more rhythm than when it left with Marcus obviously having whipped his charges into more shape than they're used to. With a somewhat malicious grin he calls to the balcony to say that Tim is following...in the hi-kneeling C1. Tim's pink shirt eventually hoves on the horizon as he tremulously makes his way to the raft. He spots some Gin Palaces and sprints, erratically, for the raft. He reaches safety with moments to spare. Balcony applauds with mixture of relief and disapointment....Notice that DW people still wearing race identity bracelets as badge of honour. Much talk of RSI wrist injuries etc
12:30 Go for a float to Teddington with Tim, Sue and some Hungarian chap who seems to know what he's doing. However, I'm a bit coached out, I know the drills by now and you'd think my body would be able to respond by doing the whole catch, power phase, circles jobbie by now. It doesn't but I don't really care, it's too sunny and warm to get worked up about technique. Celebrate by eating coconut ice cream the home for much need snooze. Spot SA crowd doing Briar duty on the balcony. Must be summer. Go to party in Kingston, vow to drink sensibly.
Sunday 25
10:45 Oh dear. Might have drifted beyond the bounds of "sensible drinking" last nite and I'm not looking forward to the planned 8 miler to Kingston and back. Sue, with bronchitis, Paul with thumb blister and myself, hangover plod towards the lock...We eventually get it together enough for some wash hanging but it's Piccadilly Circus up near the Royal so we change tactics to "survival" and pick our way thru the sailors, rowers and assorted flotsam that makes up the Thames on a sunny day. Turn at the Bridge then make it smartish back to the club and Sunday lunch at the White Cross. Get home, weigh myself whilst agreeably de-hydrated then have (another) afternoon snooze.
Tuesday 27th
6.00 Leave work and ride thru thunderstorm to get to the club. See Roly & Colin inspecting the weather and suggest using wooden paddles to avoid lightening strikes. Nobody laughs.
Sue, Phil. Alex, Mark and Liz all turn up and everyone gets on the water in short order. Rain is falling lightly at this point with only the odd rumble of thunder in the distance. Everyone gathers round at the top of Glovers just as Trev motors past with some juniors making same joke about carbon paddles. Nobody laughs. The rain is making a bit more of a concerted effort as we warm-up to Eel Pie and starts belting down as Roly gives us the session instructions: 3 mins x 10, 2 mins off.
We plough up and down the river feeling slightly exposed as large claps of thunder shake our boats and lightening forks spark up the sky. Fear drives me on and I win a couple of the efforts with the rain now starting to fill our boats. The storm suddenly stops and we do the last 2 intervals in flat calm conditions where Sue and Phil reassert the usual running order by beating me by 3 lengths or so. Alex takes a liking to the bank and throws himself in so he can swim to it. We leave him to get on with coz we're winning and don't want to compromise our lead...I think he made it.
Roly makes us practice sprint starts, burying our leading blade while stationary then bursting into action with a couple of quick strokes either side. I say bursting...more like "lightly applying minimum pressure" but we'll get the hang of it...possibly. Maybe not before Nottingham. Ever.
Wednesday 28th
6.30pm 10K nite but weather is not nice so I reckon I'll treat myself by just doing 2 laps. Which I do...slowly. I did have to stop to pick-up some chaps paddles but frankly the stopwatch doesn't lie. I'm about as fast (slow) as last year. Still, I might try getting faster as opposed to the steady decline as witnessed last year.
Only about 15 of us out there but some do well: Lizzie does her first 3 lapper in 55 and a bit minutes, Nevil is a bit faster than last year at just over 52 and Doug...well Doug is Doug and does 46 mins. Phil hides behind Charmien in a K2 (53 mins) and Sue arrives a bit late and does a lonely 61. Steve & Vince get into the 70's but its their first outing and they may have got lost? In any event its the first of the season so not to bothered. As I finish early I'm first in the showers or at least I think I am...I'm drying myself off when I hear:
"Got any wax?"
"Uh-huh, got some of that clay moulding wax from Piedmont"
"Yeah?"
"Comes in grey pots with gold tops..very cool"
"Oh I know, it's good with highlights and doesn't leave your hair shiny!"
"s'right..AND.. it absorbs UV rays, protects from split ends and everything"
"Wow..well cool"
I quickly pull my jeans on figuring I must've somehow accidentally wandered into the girls changing room (it could happen) but when I turn round the only people there are Henry and Rupert. Henry offers me some wax...I decline, what with Graham's use of Timotei and now this...when is this hair care obsession going to end?
Thursday 29th
Its raining but the chaps at the Royal are as keen as ever and I take them thru the basic strokes for turning, pirouetting etc. Everyone's dead keen, and this coaching lark is beginning to be fun. Must read the next page in the manual as they're catching up already. First wobbly boat pupil is starting to put it together and I'm worried...however moving her on to winged paddles should put her back a few weeks. New person capsizes and I manage to do deep water rescue without undue panic or casualty. Everyone laughs like a drain when they find out its the first one I've done for real.
