Saturday 8th
NOTTINGHAM MAY SPRINT REGATTA
5.45 AM...in the morning...no really..it is..and I'm standing on the towpath up to my knees in f-f-freezing water getting the boats out. How was I to know the tide would sneak in that early? Tim, also rolls his trousers up and we eventually get the boats on the car, steal the Regatta Timetable ("do not remove from club notice board") and trundle up towards Nottingham. Weather is foul but we avoid mentioning it, though if it'd been any wetter it would've been easier to paddle the boats up there..Tim's car still hasn't got reverse.
9.30 AM Amazingly Nottingham is blessed with windless conditions and altho overcast..NO rain. Fab. We chat to the rest of the Richmond Sprint Team which consists of;
Trevor (with Francis and Sam),
Trish Davey
Sue Back
Sam Hyman
Ollie (appears on Sunday)
Andy French
Rupe "The Elk"
Gavin Turell
Anna (nominally Royal!)
Nettie
11.06 Our fist race its a K2 1000M heat. Tim drives and I thumb through the Guardian TV section until we get to the start. Beep goes, we charge, we thunder...we fade and come a gasping fourth in 4:54.96
12:18 2nd race and the K2 100M final. We're well warmed up and Tim exchanges pleasantries with the other vets. Much talk of house prices, hernia's and maintenance payments before we line up.."..operation went fine..", "..I'm worth 500 quid more than last week..", "...she left me for a bloke with a hover mower.."
"BEEEP!!!". Get off to a blinding start and we lead for a few metres, but the other vets quickly close us down and its feeling desperate at 500M. Eventually we grind over the line, fifth in 4:54.00 one second faster than our heat.
Bit of a wait until our K1 races so I idly take photo's and chat with the Chap from "Earth's images" whose got a very big lens (seven grand!!) on his camera. I feel very under-lensed.
13:27 Line up for the K1 1000M, do a (for me) reasonable 5:18 beating Tim by 8 seconds! Yee-hah
14:33 Final 3 of the Vets B K1 1000M. Tim + I are in the same final and he gets a great start while I splash around trying to stay upright. Try to catch him and our battle takes us into first + second. I give it everything at the red buoys resulting in a huge support stroke and Tim wins by four seconds in 5:18. I get to have my boat weighed at last! It comes in at a podgy 13.47 Kg, which, I think is heavier than last year. Must put it on a diet.
Splendid results from our Chaps throughout the Day with Trish a winner in the 1000M, Sam doing well in his Boys A 1000M (but not competing in the final??), Gavin found stiff competition in final one of the open 200M with Messrs Almassi, Brabants, and a visiting Hungarian looking for Olympic qualification all managing to squeeze in front.
Andy French behaved splendidly in the Mens D 1000M coming third which with his performances on Sunday earned him a promotion to Men C. Fab stuff.
Evening meal at some "Giant Yorkshire Pudding" type pub washed down with the usual "Athletes Re-hydration fluid of choice" has me sound asleep and dreaming of great things to come....all before 10 pm. Unheard off.
Sunday 9th
Have lie in until 8:30 then pack the, very muddy, tent up. We trot to the centre to get some breakfast where I have a judicious two toasts and a banana while Tim has a slightly cut down "Full English".
11:06 Vets B K2 500 Heat - I'm driving and we rather mess-up the "seat adjustment before getting on the water phase" and do wobbly zig-zags up to the start. This ones fast, and frankly and we never get going and finish last in 2:16.25. I blame Tim's full English...he blames my lack of carbo-loading. Neither of us blames technique, fitness or equipment. Which is fair.
13:09 K2 500 Final 2 - We're careful to adjust our seats and manage to get to the start without incident. Everyone adjusts the frequency on their pacemakers to avoid "cross-talk" and we execute a perfect start followed by a solid middle section (as per Trevor's race plan) then hold off the Olivers at the red buoys for a second place!! Our time was 2:14.75, a second + half faster than our heat. Good stuff
14:14 K1Vets B 500M Heat - Big faff at start, I'm always conscious of the dunking I gave myself last year and I drift a few metres beyond the holders raft....The starter gently invites "Lane 5...Richmond" to return to within the holders reach. I wobble backwards, stop then its: "..Start within 10..Beep" and I blast off before getting into some sort of rhythm eventually finishing 4th just in 2:34 just .04 of a second slower than Tim
15:15 K1 Vets B 500M Final 3 Tim and I are drawn next to each other in lanes 4 & 5 which is good coz we're fairly close on time and it'll be good competition. Which it is...up to the point where I'm catching Tim with 200M to go. I'm inching forward and I can see him starting to fade so I put a huge effort...followed by an equally huge support stroke..Race lost! I finish in 2:38.33 with Tim ahead in 2:35:04
That it for us, the rest of the Richmond Team (well done to everyone) has a reasonable day with Ollie a very good second in Boys C earning him a promo to Boys B (excellent Ollie, new boat works then!!). Andy French does even better winning his heat and final...another promo for him.
To End: A really good Regatta, I'm absolutely shattered but pleased enough. The conditions were excellent the wind only beginning to pick up as we came off the water (thank you god). Tim and I know we can do better and it's a good job there's no Vets C. Although if you want an idea of how someone really gets to the top..take a leaf out of Tim Brabant's book: last seen doing a training session at 4.30 as we were driving away...
More blog...getting back into the swing...
Tuesday 11th
Go out for a "turn" up river with Phil and I wash hang him to the lock...well almost...can't keep it going past TYM so ease off before the traffic lights. Think Nottingham has taken its toll. We do the same back and I make it to the top of Eel pie before "wheezing" down to a slower pace. See Sue "wash - hanging" a K2 (Alison and Melissa) ...quite close, only the width of the river separating them...
Do some starts round Glovers where Phil manages to beat me despite being in his high chair. I claim technical problems.....(being unable to paddle is a technical problem) but begining to worry that Phil is getting the hang of this hi-seat malarky. I will suggest he alters the angle of his paddles to compensate. We've never got the hang of canoeing before and its a bit late to start fiddling with the formula now.
Wednesday 12th
Phil drags a Regina out..and after a great deal of faffing (what else? this is Mr Buchan) the boat is ready and we line up for the start of the 10K. I'm driving coz Phil's a wimp and can't steer. I can't steer either but I'm a bloke so won't admit it. The issues continue to make themselves apparent as we charge (stagger) round the first lap. Its our first go in a K2 since October (in 54 mins or so) and we're not expecting a smooth ride....
My rating is erratic, caused mostly by a severe left hand lean and there's a fair amount of wobbliness in evidence. My right hand goes numb on the second lap but we manage a small triumph by wash-hanging some passing K1s up past Glovers. Yee ha. Phil really getting into it and asks me to up it a bit but I can't feel my hand at all so I shout "NO!"..a bit grumpily. We round Richmond bridge for the last time (tangling with a buoy) and trudge back to the raft in 54:25 only narrowly beating Lizzie in her K1 and 10 minutes behind doug.
Still, benchmark of sorts and we were doing that time at the end of last season 10K so maybe our target should be the low fifties...answers on a post card please.
Thursday 13th
Coaching up at Royal - the three Dragon boaters are making great progress and I may have to start flipping the pages of my coaches guide a bit quicker than I imagined. Have normal confusion over left handed paddles...Steve manages to paddle off (successfully!!) with rather nice wooden pair, reporting that they felt "a bit strange". Wobbly boat person managing to stay in boat and has bought some nifty Bracas from a "dealer", threatening to use them to "get faster"....She looks like someone who isn't going to give up too easily, might have to resort to coaching launch to hide my lack of speed....
Sat & Sun
Take well earned rest....in Birmingham.
Monday 17th
Return refreshed from "The North" and decide to do the Monday - Glovers Time Trial. Which is as it says on the tin...a quick, timed, juant round Glovers and back to the raft. The quick do it in 5 to 5 and a half minutes, the slow do it slower...obviously. Sue's out there giving it a go but Phil, as ever, deprives us of his whippet like speed and is jaunting up to the lock with Karl and Linda.
Trev gives me the "Five to go.." and I give it three before splashing off in the direction of Glovers. I'm following Ellie and being hunted down by her somewhat quicker sister Lizzie. The hunt doesn't last long and she whizzes by followed by a whole pack of snarling speed merchants...the hunter quickly becoming the hunted. Its not a race..just like the 10K its a time trial..nominally. Its a race by any other name though I'm happy to do the 6:19 knowing that this is just the start, I'm aiming for a sub-six minute time by September (Craig (ed), please arrange for all statements of this type to be erased or adjusted as necessary).
Phil finally returns (Sue & I have done three laps by now) and we do some draw stroke practice followed by some starts and a quick go at "who can turn in the smallest circle without falling in". I win and Phil is second..at everything, as I'm better. Much better, all round.
We drink tea on the balcony and muse about Sue's left lean. She muse's back and warns me not to speculate about possible anatomical anomolies in public. I agree not to.
Bloggity bloggity BLOG!
Tuesday 18th
Lovely and sunny as I bound down to the club and sprint up the stairs...Phil's loitering on the balcony and Sue appears from the changing rooms with her paddles..everyone's ready then? Trev asks us to take Lizzie out and do "The Three Tenors", 1 x 10, 2 x 10 and 10 starts. That might not kill Lizzie but its gonna rattle my mortal coils for sure....
I set my watch beeping and join everyone else around Glovers. Spot other groups out doing their thing and make mental note to make sure this ones as professional as we can make it. The warm up is very competitive as normal and we start the 1 minute efforts at the bottom of Eel Pie. Interrupted briefly by Craig and Nicola testing the temperature of their relationship and the water by capsizing in front of us. We rubberneck like we're on the M25 until we're past and crack on with the session.
We start the twos which is where my beep counting starts to get confused....being completely exhausted and remembering how many beeps there've been is not something I'm good at (Sue's much better so she's in charge next time). Ollie joins us and I have to red card him for wash hanging Lizzie (this is all "off wash") Have to red card Phil as well when he finally snaps, sprinting off shouting: "Sheep! Sheep! I love sheep!. Thankfully the last one is done before it deteriorates further and we do ten starts which, due to incredible foresight by the coach, brings us level with the raft....
Wednesday 19th
10K and the Club is crawling with paddlers & boats, with a frenzy of activity around the boathouse and raft as 63 (SIXTY THREE!!) people try to get on the water at the same time. Unbelievable. I squeeze thru the crush and plonk the Jag on the water and do a brief warm-up before Trevor gives me the "Neil..5...GO!!!" and I burst into action..
Strange but the normal apprehension is missing and I feel well up for it as I wash hang someone (anyone) from the club to the bridge but then I'm on my own for half a lap so its a bit of a plod. Its not until the second lap that a group including a big K2 come charging past...I'm on the wash and clinging to it for all my worth which carries me past a couple of K1s I'd been inching towards...before falling off...job done though..
Third lap and its still going well, so well that I manage to hang on to Mark's wash to the bridge again then finally in the last 100M Ross gives me lift on his. Blimey, must be careful, might get the hang of this. I go on a victory tour round Glovers then back to the club where Trev suggests I do a drug test coz my time comes in at 57:05 which is my best ever and a full two minutes better than anything I did last year.
Thursday 20th
Take "Low Seat No 1" up to royal as my "pupils" not convinced I can paddle anything other than a bathtub. I show them how to survive in a wobbly boat by demonstrating exactly how far one can tip over and still be able to recover. The demo was a little earlier than I'd planned and they may have thought it was more realistic than necessary, what with the boat being half full of water and me being half drenched...but the first role of a coach is never to let on that you're less than perfect...(its all too apparent)
Saturday 22nd
River is full to bursting with the usual melee being expertly administered in front of the boathouse by Peter. Marcus has a full class with me, Phil, Karl, Nettie (making a guest appearance), Andy (back from Hols) and Zdenka (back from Chezch). Also spot Graham finally returning after his post DW layoff contemplating his upcoming 35th birthday......(yeah..sure..).
Marcus announces an all out 100% session of: 10 x 30secs followed by a 10 x 1min set. Should be interesting... The 30 second jobbies last...well...er...for 30 seconds and we're into the minutes with Marcus following me in his C1 nattering away about paddles being vertical and all that. I'm gaining on Nettie (much to my surprise) and Marcus urges me to greater effort in the last few seconds causing whatevers left of my cardiovascular system to collapse in a gasping heap. The ones are finished and we do a bit of wash-hanging down to Glovers before I spot the Merrie Thames and hop on its wave for a pleasant trip upto the lock and back.
Monday 24th
Beginning to regret putting "Glovers Time Trials" on my Big Plan as they're turning out to be especially challenging. Tonight's worse than last week as its bumpy with the tide running out. The first effort is my best at 6:14 (five seconds better than last week) but the second is a wibbly wobbly affair and I end up being caught on the line by Karl who must've started some way behind me. Phil no-where to be seen claiming, earlier, that as the river was pointing the wrong way it would upset his rhythm. Quite right.
Twos enough for me and I go for a wind down round Eel Pie and back. Notice Charlotte and Andi practising "technique" (gossiping) at the top of the Island as I turn and I'm showered & changed before spotting them from the balcony coming in still practising "technique".
Tuesday 25th
Oh dear. Tuesdays sessions also on the Big Plan, I seem to remember them being particularly gruelling last week and I suspect, looking at the line-up, no respite this week. Its me, Roly, Charmien, Phil, Sue and Sarah (returning after her DW exploits).
Gawd. Roly suggests I time the session and I struggle to set-up my watch which beeps once then to goes to sleep. Roly takes on time-keeping duties as we begin the 10 x 3mins that Charmie's requested. She's doing the Yukon in a few weeks and needs a bit of sprint practice to get her through the 360 miles 6 day race.
We all survive the first set (5 x 3) apart from Charmie who wobbles off in her Jag after the first 3 mins. Competition is as fierce as ever with Phil & Sue ding-donging it (pardon?) up and down the river while I manage to edge out Sarah by using my superior technique and strength (Cheating). After a good deal more cheating by me and "words" between Phil and Sue, Roly calls the final rest. He then leads some stability stuff: lots of paddle twirling, chucking them away, no paddle races etc. Finally convinced that paddles don't do much to aid stability, its all in the hips. Which is a worry, Elvis may have had flexible hips and would no doubt have made a fine K1 paddler but I'm not Elvis; uh-huh, one mo' time...baby. I may have left the building.
Wednesday 26th
Dash home to collect kit. Meet Phil who (correctly) predicts a bumpy 10K outing and what with the "river pointing the wrong way" again, plonks himself down on the sofa. "You ain't seen me, if anyone asks". No one did but it's my duty to shame him into racing so I'm shopping him...
The BBC are filming Charmie and Jason in a K2 (doing the Yukon race in Alaska) with hard man Joiner driving the camera crew up and down the river in the launch. My experience (strictly limited) of camera crews is that they're gruff, hairy, gorilla types...on close inspection the Beeb appears to have sent the other type: Attractive, articulate and er...well.they're definitely not blokes.. Lucky us.
No such luck on the water, I can feel the camera on me and Trev has to shout "NEIL...FIVE...GO!.........NOW PLEASE" before I reluctantly leave the limelight for the plod round Glovers. The launch scoots up and down causing big waves resulting in a steady stream of invective from the fifty of us that aren't being filmed. Thankfully they stop after 2 laps (they're in danger of being lynched)
I manage to wash-hang Charmie & Jason and cleverly collide with them in order to get an "action shot" for the camera but frankly despite another wash-hang from the launch the whole 10K is a real toughie. Various squads of K2's shoot past with the Hendron boats doing battle, i.e. lots of shouting and clattering. Trish, doing her first 10K for a long time canters past on Nick's wake with....what the f....CRAIG! Unbelievable, I do a double take and make efforts to get closer to the group before it disappears. I never manage to catch them (surprise?) and Craig eventually falls off.....but great efforts.
I sprint to the finish (make more of a splash anyway) and the three laps are over. All of our times are 1 - 2 mins slower than last week and Tim takes the brunt of our disappointment. He promises to buy beer...must make him aware of our disappointment more often. Food is fab and we all use knives and forks cos the cameras are still rolling. Trevor's even turned out in a real shirt and shorts without holes in them. He does a splendid speech summarizing the race while we listen intently without catcalls or throwing any food. Must get the BBC down more often...very civilising...
