3 July Nottingham Sprint Regatta - National Championships

Sue and I arrive at campsite to meet Tim, Thomas and Brendon. Pitch tent, drink medicinal Glenmorangie, fall asleep....

....Wake up, outside tent, covered in dew. Instruct Tim to scratch me from 1000M K1 as unable to contemplate sprint competitions without feeling queasy. Everyone else seems very keen and races are won and lost in the blink of a bloodshot eye with various combo's including a "ringers" K2 (Brendon and Thomas) getting victory in mens C and some sort of wins and places for various people including; Joe & Richard, Jordan, Gavin, Ollie, Sam, Lizzie.... Sorry if that's a bit vague but it wasn't until the K2 1000M with Tim that I finally woke up and started to feel a bit better......

Vets B K2, 1000M heat
The wind and rain has been somewhat relentless all morning and, rather spitefully, the Regatta course weather god waits until 11.12 precisely to unleash the worst conditions I've ever paddled in. I'm huddled down behind Tim in the K2 and he shouts that, on the Beaufort Scale, we're in gale force 6 with the boatholders in considerable danger of being washed off the rafts. Great.

No one bothers with the boatholding stuff and the starters eager to get us going before the waves sink us. Tim takes advantage of this...

Starter: " I'll sta..."
Tim: " Letsgo..." (first stroke)
Starter: "..rt you in 10 Seconds"
Tim " Lengthen out!" (4th stroke)
Starter: "..er..go!"
Tim: "...great start !!" (our 6th stroke, everyone else's first)

We're 10 metres up on everyone else including the rather grandly named "Scottish Development Squad" K2 in lane 1. Our weight is causing the boat to plough into the waves and Tim occasionally disappears in a welter of spray. I've got my spraydeck zipped up around my neck so I've feeling quite cosy and I'm able to see the lads in lane 1 gaining on us. I bellow "UP!!!" to Tim at about 750M and we generate a bit more surf n' spray before cantering over the line in 3rd.

Vets B2, 1000M Final
The wind and rain hasn't abated and we're in lane 1 so we're not able to push the line quite so much as we did in the heat. The race is pretty similar, lots of spray and driving rain but we only manage sixth and out of the medals. However we're well pleased with making the A final!

Gavin Turrell 200M
Gavin manages a last hurrah as he retires from the UK racing scene buggering off to Aus for a life in the Sun with his wife. Very sensible. The wind and rain die down as he wins the 200M and takes the British title for the last time with the entire Richmond contingent hooting and shouting from the raft as he charges over the line. Well done Gav and best wishes from The Balcony and everyone at the club.

4 July

After a bit of a party to celebrate Richards birthday and Gav's win, the Regatta God decides that Sunshine and light winds are the order of the day. Tim and I have judiciously refrained from overdoing it by only downing a small bottle of Glenmoranjie last nite and I've decided not to scratch from the K1 500 coz I'm feeling quite sparkly. Which is a surprise.

500M K1 Heat Bit wobbly but manage to finish the 500 without to much drama into a strengthening headwind in a borrowed boat to come 5th. Tim Brabants was probably a bit relieved that I've decided to leave Olympic qualification until next time. I commiserate with the other Tim as he finishes last in his heat thinking I might take him in the final...

500M K1 Final ...which I fail to do with Tim winning it and me coming last......Git, could've waited. Huh.

500 K2 Heat We're on fire! The starter asks lane 2 to put out their fags and the heat of the Vets K2 500M kicks off. We, inexplicably and despite a bit of bother at 250M, manage to stay with the front runners to blast over the line in third. Its a new experience for us as we turn to watch the rest of the field coming in miles behind. Fab stuff, bring on the Final!

500M K2 final ....Ah.... now, we knew that we'd have to go 10 seconds better than in the heat to get a medal and we'd had an ice cream with a flake in the ludicrous hope that it might help us win. Tim's down to the little bit of Ice cream at the bottom of the cornet when the starter suggests we might like to start. We do, but the seeding works all to well with the middle lanes surging ahead leaving us to finish off our confectionary at our leisure. We still manage a respectable 6th in 2:22 which although not as quick as we'd like.....well, its not as quick as we'd like, full stop!

Sue manages a splendid Bronze in the 200M (see photo) and the Richmond Lightning squad manage to light up the pond by winning the under 10s 500M and becoming UK champions!! Yee hah and well done to Ben, Jack, Ciran and Josh.

Other notables include Joe Turza winning the 500M K1 Mens D ( a promotion likely their I should imagine?) and a fantastic silver for the K4 Mens A squad: Rupert, Gavin, Brendon and Sam. The latter making a big hop skip and jump from Boys A to Mens A....

The spells between races is filled with photo taking and some boat holding for the lightnings (actually more of a "Shove" than a "hold" as Tim & I launch the boys from the raft and they charge into the lead). We also do some people watching which is very entertaining....

Richard: (Trying to slam car boot shut)
Milos: "Stop! Stop!"
Richard: "Hang on, with you in a mo, I'll just shut the boot"
Milos: No, Stop, Stop!
Richard: Hang on something's stuck... Milos: I know, Its my arm!

We make our way home......

Tuesday 6th

Tim & I have had discussions about our chances in the interclubs (September) and we reckon 10 seconds off our K2 500M could have us amongst the medals.

On that basis we clamber into the Regina and bash up and down the river doing split 500's with Sue. After two sets of five I'm v v knackered and Mr Joiner is breathing so heavily that people on the bank look skywards checking for a Red Arrows fly past the boat felt quite good most of the time with only the occasional lurch although the starts got progressively more laboured!

We've some way to go but a few more sessions like that and who knows....

Friday 9th - Monday 12th

Large mountains in Wales hold no fear for people who regularly face danger canoeing on the Thames. We (Phil, Sue & myself) climbed a few, we trudged up one, kit kats were consumed....fun was had....nuff said. Oh and it was windy and it rained which is a given in Wales during July I guess...

Tuesday 13
Bit hazy this but I seem to remember Sue, Peter and myself doing various interval combinations and me getting very tired and losing it with respect to the timing/beep counting. Same as usual then?

Thursday 14
Coaching group at Royal temporarily down to one. It's a nice night so coachee needs no persuassion to jump into Jag and canters off round the Island looking very stable and all that. Bugger, will have to resort to "anti-coaching" to slow her down, perhaps introduce a 6th power circle (once she's master 3,4 & 5) or adjust the angle on her paddles in tha name of "improved technique". Dunno but I'm getting desparate. The thought of having to train to go faster just to keep up with coaching group doesn't sit well with me....

Saturday 15
Nice day on the river so I borrow Trev's Jag and take the top few K1'ers from Wendy's group for a spin: Dallas, Giles, Gary, Chris & Paul C.
Can't get my watch to beep in the right places so have to abandon Marcus's plan (some complex agelbeaic, black hole maths theorem, set of intervals) and do the rather simpler: "Races to Places". Now, I had inteded to do roughly 500M efforts but realise that all the "places" I know are about 1000M apart. The boyz are knackered (so am I) by about effort 4 so I do some technique stuff wot I read in a coaching manual somewhere. All about keeping stretchy membrames stretched using your arms.

They don't get it the first time but after a bit they all start to look Tim Barbants in his pomp. Sort of. Chris starts to look less like the duracell bunny on the starts and the last two efforts, despite everyone looking worn-out, are P.D.G. Especially as I won the last one. Ohhhhh yessss, these boyz have alot to learn from the club's premier Vets B, K4, position 4, 2003, Ntaional Championships, bronze medalist.

Sunday 16
Tim & I, in our quest for fame and fortune decide that the Plastex is the boat for us. I originally thought the logo said "Playtex" and refused to paddle it on the basis I would look stupid paddling something named after a bra. Tim advised that I look stupid in any boat and we got the boat off the rack without further ado.

After a quick calculation, the boat is a "180" which apparently stands for the combined maximum weight of the paddlers the boat is designed for, we consider that we're far enough from the weightt limit not to cause any damage and jump in. Bit wobbly but we're no strangers to instability and career up the river without a problem. There were various other people in the session (Sue, Paul et. al) but to be frank I was concentrating VERY hard on making sure we stayed upright. Lots of sweaty intervals later we were still, suprisingly, upright and we'd even won one or two efforts (we did start behind I might add). Good Stuff!! Nottingham Vets B, K2 final here we come.......

Tuesday 20
Lizzie, Ellie, Sue,  Phil and a number of other people (I was too scared to look round) have braved our wash and Tim's doing the session from the front of the Plastex. The tides tanking out and the honeymoon period with the boat is most definitely over. We adopt a jaunty lean to the right throughout most of the session which is only relieved by vicious lurches to the left. Incredibly we surivie the session without bothering the fish. We even (despite Lizzie claiming a clean sweep) win two of the efforts. If we can sort out our basic problems: Fitness, technique and stability we'll be well dangerous.

Wednesday 21
10K...thats 10,000 meters or, if my maths is correct, 1 Million centemters or 10 million millimeters give or take the odd 1. That's a long way so I encourage Giles (new to the event) to take up the running so I (and Liz G.) can sit on his wash all the way round. I correctly predict a time of 58 minutes for the both of us and genrously allow him to take the sprint at the end. Liz, being a tad more competitive, takes no prisoners and out sprints both of us.

Amazing times from other club members with Phil and Nev doing a credible 46:48 in the Viper. Phil now signing his emails off as Phil "sub47" Buchan......

Thursday 22
Coaching group now up to two people and both looking very good. The weather is also good, so good that I find it difficult to concentrate and drone on about "Catch" & "Rotation!" until number one pupil advises that I rotate myself off somewhere else....

...Which I do as its COMMITTEE night!. Yippee! I arrive 15 minutes late and miss my chance to report on my "Press" activities. The meeting is going well with Sean abandoning his usual ink & pen based doodling with a new electronic version which he prods occasionally (not sure it was switched on). Melissa scribbles furiously only pausing to engage in verbal sparring with Tony & Trev. Craig does a splendid presentation of the Sub-Committee (racking) findings and Tim canters through the financial aspects of the potential refurb etc.

Crisps & Twixs are distributed in an attempt to fight of torpor as Trev reads out a letter from Twickers rowing club regarding navigation, steering, collision avoidance etc All was noted and ee agreed to send letter accepting both clubs responsibilities in this area. Though obviously we're blamless?

Finally a heated discussion on the amount of toilet roll being used by certain sections of the club. Lots of headshaking and sharp intakes of breath on that one. So, can we all remember that the clubs finances are entering a challenging period and bog rolls are expensive. Club rules have been amended to encourage people to go to  the loo before they get to the club and after they leave . Toilet paper will be rationed to three squares per "request" anyone wanting more will have to fill in a form and give it to Trevor. His decision is final.

On  a serious note....the Committee noted that the club's growing membership means it is harder to keep track of who is using club equipment and whether it is being used safely. Please ask if you are in any doubt about your capacity to handle a given boat or if it is safe to take yourself or other people (especially children) out onto the river. Thankfully accidents at the club are few and far between and we can all do our bit to keep it that way.

Friday 23
Arrange to do short sharp session with Royal coachee who is actually a dragon-boater. Coachee paddles an 01 (Kayak with outrigger) while I do session in K1. Thankfully able to out run her boat thus avoiding any embarrassment though not without comment from early evening drinking crowds above Kingston Bridge....."She's only got half a paddle...you cheat!!". I have a go in the 01 and find out just how difficult it is to steer after narrowly missing a moored barge before over correcting and veering off towards the other bank. Coachee circles anxiously: "are you alright?" .................."Yes, yes just seeing how well it turned...."

Saturday 24
I'm Wendy today (figuratively speaking) and gather her group around Glovers. Quite big gaps in ability so I'm grateful to Marcus who poaches Adrian at the top of Eel Pie.The group is quite happy doing races-to-places while practising the three most important paddling techniques rotation, rotation, rotation...I couldn't remember anything else but the rotation was coming along very well and there was only three capsizes!

Finish off the session with some standing in the boat playstuff behind Glovers with Isobel and Peter sharing first place, Peter also taking the "Stationary Standing" award and sweeping the board with the "oops I've lost my glasses award".

Arrive back at the raft in time to watch Marcus throwing junior out of the front of his C1 (or 2 as it was being used). Marcus laughs like a drain, junior looks a bit miffed but enterainment is the name of the game and the balcony is well pleased

Sunday 25
Arrive late and Sue, Phil, Karl and Andy are waiting, champing at the bit ready to go. Rather fast for me this lot so I leave them to wash hang to the lock while I do battle with Trev's Jag. I eventually catch them at the lock and on the way back we do some short sprinty stuff including a 500 down Eel pie. Too sunny to finish this early so play some water polo and "tag" which I won, Karl and Andy not being able to lay a blade on me. Hah!. Right pair of girls.

Tuesday 27

Tim & I are giving the Pastex another go. Sean's taking the session with Phil, Sue, Lizzie and Giles making up the group. The session is 5x1 + 5x2 + 5x1 minutes Sean advising us to give the second minute of the "twos" more effort as training for holding off "chaps catching you on the second half of the 500". Right...

We do the warm up and the boats not happy.....first minute starts......boat gets worse...bit of swearing...we stop. Hmmm. This repeats itself a few times and as I reckon I know what I'm doing (answers on a postcard please) I suggest we swap and I do the driving. Not good. In fact it's worse and there's a moment above Eel Pie when we both begin to realise that it's a non starter for Nottingham. bum. Back to the Regina.....

We lurch back to the raft where Tim attempts to coach a rolling session with willing (naïve?) victim Ellie. Doug and Sam provide the additional safety crew with Sam paying particularly close attention. Half rolls completed successfully with Ellie only looking slightly terrified, Doug looking only slightly chilly and Sam looking like he'd been paying particualrly close attention.....

Weds 28 - 10K

Sunny + warm with river calm....must be a good bet? Plenty of takers for the 10K, Tim & I have opted for the Regina and are doing the full 3 laps.

Lots of banter between us and the "other" Vet crew: Andy & Karl. I point out that I am a UK Vet B Champion Bronze medal winner and that they have yet to win anything! They point out that as it was a K4 and at the rear I actually came in 12th.The respect & awe doesn't last for long as we scrap and fight our way off the (mass start) line and narrowly miss being smeared along the hull of the black barge by our challengers. Fortunately we survive but we're well down on the pack and without a wash in sight we slug our way round the first lap.

Second lap and we're pretty much on our own although we pick off stragglers from the first group and put in the occasional burst to attempt a wash-hang from people in group three. It's all a bit gruelling although get some light relief and entertainment as Grant tangles with the K2 of Marcus & Elliot at Twickers bridge and duly disappears beneath the waves. Who did what to whom, at what angle and who had right of way never really gets sorted out despite a heated discussion (later) in the boathouse. An international incident, all good fun, I love the 10K!

Third lap and we attempt to narrow the gap between us and the K1's of "Admiral" Sean and Peter but we're only partly successful and end up about 20 seconds behind them in 53:12. This is 14 seconds slower than our last outing and a full 3 minute + slower than Andy & Karl. They hang round at the finish hooting and shouting but we maintain our composure pretending we don't care...not that we do...much...well a bit....

Saturday 31 July

10.00 am, The club's looking very lively and there's an air of expectancy about the place...must be Saturday then? Tim & I elect to take Regina out and we join Marcus (who's with Elliette) along with Lizzie & Mate in a Plastex and our Weds night nemesis crew of Andy and Karl. K1's include Simon and Nick plus some other Geeza...

Fast & furious stuff is the session with 8x500 although as usual I hear "six" and I'm a well and truly busted flush when the 7th & 8th come round. We're a bit off the pace but I put that down to withdrawal symptoms. Tim has forsaken the demon drink for a week and its affecting his paddling. The DT's have set in by effort 5 and we get a good look at both banks before settling down to a steady zig-zag. Not only will we not reach the final at Nottingham but Trevor is likely to be summoned to the "Tower" for a good telling off regarding "Richmond Paddlers staying in their lane" or indeed "Staying on the lake".